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August 23, 2022

The Search for the 2022 BIFF

-- The quest to find the best newcomer has returned


After two years off we're back my friends! Or in this case friend, as Devon Smith is the only loyal follower of the annual BIFF selection process. What is the BIFF you might wonder? BIFF stands for the Best Incoming Freshman Footballer and is a title bestowed annually upon the Cougar newcomer anticipated to have the best freshman season. The selection process is highly scientific: after dutifully patrolling Twitter and Cougarboard throughout fall camp, investigating each film of practice in the name of Zapruder, and ignoring all of KSL's horrendous articles, I pick a few blades of grass, mash them in a bowl, and like Rafiki before me toss the remnants into the wind as I bestow the title of BIFF on my chosen Freshman. 



But that's only part of the equation. Dumb things like appearance (yes for afros, no for mustaches), jersey number (#11 is my favorite), what high school did they attend (Granger alums advance automatically to semi-final consideration), and what nicknames could they develop matter to me more than they should, which is how I could once award the 2004 BIFF to Kyle Luekenga instead of Ray Feinga; the 2007 BIFF to Mitch Payne instead of Harvey Unga; or the 2014 BIFF to Trey Dye instead of Fred Warner. But hey what's the fun in being right? 

As Rafiki once said, "It is time". As usual we'll address the candidates who didn't make the cut before dramatically revealing this year's BIFF.

For past BIFF installments, please reference the below.

2014
2015
2016
2017
2018
2019


Tier I -- The Brothers Brigade

LB Logan Pili
LB Micah Wilson
LB Tate Romney
OL Sam Dawe
DB Preston Rex
WR Kyson Hall
 
A question for this whole group. Are these brothers good or are they the recruiting tax we pay for their more successful elder siblings? If they're just the tax, it's fine by me! Their brothers are worth it. And as for the brothers at the linebacker position, it's not going to be easy to crack into the rotation this year. The 4th and 5th guys on the depth chart (Tooley and Tanuvasa) boast a combined 2,000 snaps of experience. That keeps those three out of BIFF range pretty easily, but I'm not expecting to see the other three either. 

Tier II -- The Pedigree Pals

OL Talin Togiai -- Has a cousin who played for Ohio State and the Cleveland Browns. Has another cousin who played for Oregon State and the Philadelphia Eagles. Who can one up that pedigree? Surprisingly, everyone below!

DB Dean Jones -- Father played minor league baseball. Grandfather played in the ABA. Uncle was a Harlem Globetrotter. Those are big footsteps to follow. 

LB Michael Daley -- Dad played at BYU. Uncle played at BYU. Uncle played at BYU. Uncle played at BYU. One of those uncles is named Taysom Hill. Those are even bigger footsteps to follow. (ok, these may not be direct blood uncles but still)

DL Ice Moa -- Son of a Ute! A phrase which used to be a sin-free way to swear, but ever since Zach came along I'm more open to Ute descendants crossing over to light. Ute kids make perfect players to follow: if he's great then he's great, and if he's not I blame it on his dad. A real win-win!

DB Quenton Rice -- Son of a legend! Quenton's father was Rodney Rice, a decorated Cougar from the 80s who I selected in the 10th round of our 2020 fantasy BYU football draft. I don't know how good stat-tracking was back then but a Deseret News article claimed Rice senior gave up only one passing touchdown over a two season span. He was drafted 210th in the NFL and recorded two interceptions in a short career. If Rice junior could pull off half of that look out. 


Tier III -- The Guys with Nickname Potential 

DL Mikey Petty -- I read this name and instantly thought, Mikey "Heavy Petting" Petty. I'm already congratulating myself for this one. Heavy Petting Petty plays defensive line which means his job is to lay hands on the quarterback. I'm not sure I ever did learn what heavy petting meant, but I think a defensive end falling on top of or pulling a quarterback to the ground might be somewhat in line with this nickname. 

DB Nathaniel Gillis -- Speaking of honor code violations, Nathaniel Gillis was coached in high school by a fellow named Scott Longerbone, whose name can be scrambled easily to rebrand him Scott Longbone ... er, never mind. But coach isn't the only person whose handle can be changed to improved results. Nathaniel Gillis is a weird name, but with a little bit of creative re-arranging, a la Tom Riddle and Voldemort, ho hum Nathaniel Gillis could become a much more gangster Nneal A. Lil Shiti G. Imagine Greg Wrubell belting that out mid game! "And Lil Shiti G catches it for the touchdown!11. Who are we kidding? Obviously Lil Shiti G would play corner." 

Granted this may not be my best amalgam work but it's better than some ideas I've seen on BYU's uniforms.
 


LB Bodie Schoonover -- Some people sound gangster enough that they don't even require nicknaming. Bodie the football player sends my memory to Bodie the fan favorite from The Wire. So maybe it's cheating to include him in the nickname section, but it would be fun to yell "Bodie got a body" every time he landed a sack. 

Tier IV -- The Guys with ties to the NFL that aren't actually ties to the NFL

DB Carter Krupp -- BYU has to switch this guy to WR right? If your name is almost identical to the best WR in the NFL -- Cooper Kupp -- and you play WR, you're bound to be successful. It'd be like if you're a comedian named Larry Brinefeld. Or if you're a QB named Dom Frady. 

WR Dom Henry -- Speaking of Doms, is this Dom the first BYU wide receiver to come from Florida since the legend of the sky, the unsung hero of the 2009 Utah game, the person who Devon will name his next son -- or daughter! -- after? Yes you know who I speak of. Bruthhhhhhhha Chambers!!!!!!!

Also if we're going by the Carter Krupp rule up above, Dom needs to be switched to RB because his closest NFL name is Derrick Henry. 

DL Isaiah Perez -- This sounds like a name of a person who would have a mustache and wouldn't you know it, here's his bio pic. But enough about Isaiah's appearance. Check out who he was recruited by. BYU, USU, and the Buffalo Bills baby!!











Wait a minute. Hold up. Expand. Expand! Expand!!!













Ah suck. 

Tier V -- The Army of Freshman Defensive Backs
What's going on here? Why do we have 200 freshman defensive backs on the team? 

Preston Rex - covered previously
Carter Krupp - covered previously
Nathaniel Gillis - covered previously 
Quenton Rice - covered previously
Dean Jones - covered previously

DB Chika Ebunoha -- I've never rooted for a person named Chika and I've never screamed the name "Chika!!!" at full throttle throat following a key interception, but I'd love to in the coming years. This is one of the most fun first names to come along since Jimmer. 

DB Zion Allen -- This guy's first name is a key term of LDS religion. He's from a city that is named after our state's favorite sporting son (Stockton, California). Feels kind of like destiny that he should succeed here, right? All we need is for his dad to be named Nephi or for his high school to be in Nauvoo. Unfortunately we may never know the name of his parents. The personal section of his official BYU profile reads much like Gene Takovic's.



DB Korbyn Green -- The name Korbyn scares me. Once upon a time the Utah Jazz had a coach named Corbin and he was so bad he couldn't even tank correctly. You heard me right: he couldn't even lose in the proper way. On the other hand I love the last name green, as it reminds me of my favorite character from Clue, as well as my favorite TV girlfriend from my youth (Rachel of Friends lore). This is kind of like having a player on the team named LaVell Whittingham. I'm not sure what to think. Let's move on.

DB Isaiah Glasker -- Another Isaiah, another mustache. I don't know much about this fellow other than he's really big: six foot, five inches. Have there been a lot of giants who succeed playing cornerback? In the NFL the average size for defensive backs is six foot, zero inches, right on the dot. But size shmize, Glasker owns the best fall camp clip thus far.  
DB Evan Johnson -- Presenting our leading candidate for most BYU-sounding name of this freshman group! He even attended a school that sounds white and LDS, one Stevenson High. But I like what I read about this guy! He likes to play Madden (hey me too!), he worked at a Boys and Girls club (what? Me too!), he speaks Spanish (ok now it's getting creepy Evan) and his dad played for the Eagles (my dad listened to the Eagles!). Gosh if it weren't for the fact that Evan is a good enough athlete to play in front of millions of people on ESPN, we'd practically be the same person. 

DB Ethan Slade -- Not to be confused with the valet from Downton Abbey, this Ethan Slade led the state in interceptions his senior season and now he's getting mounds of Fall camp hype. Is he the most likely candidate to see playing time of everyone we've listed in this post so far? The Cougarboard cognizati claim he's been in all the fall camp videos with the 2s at safety.  His competitor? 

DB Talan Alfrey -- Not to be confused with a bird's fingernail, at the extremely thin safety spot Alf is already listed in the 2-deep, the most visible of anyone we've profiled to this point. Alf is from Auburn, but unfortunately he's not a transfer from Auburn, just a graduate of Auburn, Washington. He played absolutely everywhere in high school (QB, RB, WR, DB, Kicker, Punter, and returner) and when you combine that with missionary service to none other than the country this blog is named after, well suddenly my hopes are starting to get high. 


Non-tier tier -- The guys who are freshmen but shouldn't be a freshmen

QB Jacob Conover -- Listen, Conover has been around too long to be considered for the BIFF title, but I'm including him to point out that he is still considered a freshman! Unbelievable. Between Covid and redshirting this guy will have gone through FOUR fall camps prior to (theoretically) taking over the starting spot next year. I'm not sure how Conover will pan out but he will be extremely experienced in our offense, I'll given him that much. 

WR Kody Epps -- Like Conover, Kody's been around too long to be considered for BIFFdom, but I'm all in on Epps. If you catch over 1,700 yards and 28 touchdowns your senior year of high school I'm going to be your fan until you prove me wrong. Epps got on the field a few times during the Covid season, and if healthy this year I expect him to be an immediate contributor, even vaulting over Keanu Hill. 


Tier VI -- We Three Kings of BIFFdom
In my humble opinion, the next three names are the trio of freshman most likely to make an impact on the 2022 season, including the man who will walk out with the title of BIFF. In order of least likely to most likely, first up is ...

WR Parker Kingston -- I'm not as sold on Kingston as some of the others in the internet world -- Jeff Hansen at 247 calls him BYU's breakout star for the year, for example -- but I was really impressed by his Dumb and Dumber prom outfit plus I wanted this last section to have a king motif so sue me. Could he be a noise maker in the return game? Could he be in the receiving mix outside of the Puka/Romney big two? Maybe, but not as much as the next guy on the list. 

BIFF runner-up WR Chase Roberts -- Named after King Robert from Game of Thrones lore (or was it Robert the Bruce, king of Scotland?), Chase comes to BYU with the 5th most receiving yards in Utah high school history. Roberts' senior season numbers were a monstrous 1,770 yards and 22 touchdowns. That gives Roberts the 4th best receiving season in state history. 

Trivia question: BYU has three other players on the team who are in the top ten for single-season receiving yards -- who are they? (answer at end of post) 

Roberts has been back from his church service to Calgary -- shout out, my wife's old stomping grounds -- since last fall, meaning the mission rust should be in the past. His high school film is full of contested catches and there are 101 targets up for grabs between the departures of Neil Pau'u and Samson Nacua. King Robert is who I expect fill the majority of that vacuum. 

And finally, the obvious pick and winner of the prestigious 2022 BIFF award ...

2022 BIFF OL Kingsley Suamataia -- My friend Franco once slept under a bearskin rug named Kingsley and I thought that would be the last time I ever heard that name in my life. Glad I was wrong. Here's how Aaron Roderick describes Kingsley. "He’s the best athlete I’ve ever seen on the offensive line." Well that's an encouraging statement. As a senior the Deseret News claims he allowed zero sacks and delivered 70 pancakes in route to the 5A championship. That also sounds good. His 247 recruiting grade of .9824 would be the third highest in BYU's history. Ok, again, very good. He already has a chip on the shoulder having been bypassed for the Polynesian player of the year. I like that. 

And finally, in a world where we've seen recruits announce their signing intentions via restaurant press conferences and hat selections and helicopter drops, Kingsley's announcement video is the best of any I've watched. The tunes, the youngsters, the camera climbing into the stadium, the family names popping rapidly across the screen ... oh baby it gives me goosebumps.  
They're his words, not mine, but I'll steal them as a good way to crown a BIFF. 

"Time to do king things."


-- trivia question answers: Puka Nacua (1st, 2,336), Cody Hagen (3rd, 1,804), Dallin Holker (6th 1,776)

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