new header

May 12, 2020

BYU Fantasy Draft Round 10

-- Hot Rod Hundley finally has some competition for best "Rod"


Round 10 Recap

10.1 Kelly Smith (drafted by Magathisll)

Don't tell me Kelly is making a run at Jan's title as top BYU performer with a girl's name? Let's investigate the numbers:

Career stats: 105 career catches, 1,224 yards, 9 touchdowns
Career claim to fame: caught final touchdown against Michigan in '84

Those are fair stats and all, but it's not enough to dethrone Jan Jorgensen. On the bright side, I'd  rather date a girl named Kelly than one named Jan, so at least Smith's got that going for him. 


10.2 Michael Reed (drafted by Devon “Lasersheep” Smith)

I enjoyed the Michael Reed experience. It felt like he always showed up, played hard, accepted his role, and made positive plays. 

Such as the time he sent this Ute to outer darkness.



Or the time he hauled in this juggling catch.



Walk a mile in Reed's shoes for a moment. He defers to Jonny Harline and Curtis Brown in '05 and '06, biding his time, preparing to set the world on fire as the primary target in '07 and '08. Next thing you know two guys he's never heard of in his life (Austin Collie and Dennis Pitta) parachute in from missions and instantly demote him back to the land of third fiddles in the receiver pecking order. And he never complained about it! He just went out and made the most of his 3 to 4 catches per game. What a cool cat. He wore the #3 well. 


10.3 Ty'son Williams (drafted by Andrew Metcalf)

I think I'd like Ty'son Williams 5% more if his name was Tyson Williams instead of Ty'son Williams. Let that not be interpreted racially, I just disliked apostrophes as a kid because they confused the heck out of me. Sometimes the apostrophe represents possession? Sometimes it means two words have been smushed together? Sometimes they show up in Hymn books as replacements for letters that are just mysteriously deleted from the verse? Ma’am??

Ty'son was deleted from the 2019 season and unfortunately there was nothing mysterious about it. The injury robbed us of what was shaping up to be a really, really good season from the transfer. Ty'son was churning out 5.4 yards per carry against the meat of our schedule. He looked the part, breaking tackles, moving decisively, displaying quick feet, averaging 6 yards per touch against a Utah defense that allowed the third fewest yards in college football last year. Thank goodness we only used him 7 times against the Utes! We couldn't risk wearing out a guy who was going to be with BYU for many more years to come. (See I can talk trash on on Kalani too! I'm an equal opportunity complainer when it comes to coaches)


10.4 Kalin Hall (Drafted by Brian Henderson, he who once helped me get a ticket to the 59-0 UCLA game)

It seems meaningful that his running back mate Jamal Willis always speaks so highly of him. In '92  Jamal got more touches than Kalin (204 to 138) and in '93 the roles flipped with Kalin getting more touches than Jamal (113 to 90). Both backs were stellar! And certainly both wanted the ball! 

In a world where the one doesn't exist, does the other flourish in a Curtis Brown like manner? I'm guessing Kalin and Jamal had this thought occasionally. Time-shares in the running back space typically breed competition and rivalry, not friendship. (especially if there's already a pre-existing high school rivalry as we'll see below) 

Nevertheless there's Jamal, tweeting out Kalin highlights on repeat. And what great highlights they are.

  
No wonder people have been so excited for Jaren.


10.5 Itula Mili (drafted by Odyseuss)

Just a friendly reminder that Mili was second in catches and yards during the '96 season of wonder. Five players on that team had over 30 catches, with Mark Atuaia's 28 catches coming 2 shy of making it 6 such players. That's some socialist-like distribution from Sark. 

Mili, like Kalin Hall, is another guy who probably could've griped about his influence on the offense. But as my five-year-old niece would say, "he just did what he did." Watching Mili be carried off the field during the Wyoming game, his fingers blocking his face so the cameras couldn't see the crying, tore me up as a kid. It was the first time I understood what an injury meant. It was devastating then and it's still a bummer now. 


10.6 Rodney Rice (drafted by me)

Why not draft Rodney Thomas, you ask? I've long heard the Cougarboard illuminati say Rodney Thomas is the best corner to play for BYU. And so, yes, I initially planned to draft Thomas. But then I remembered the Cougarboarders also say lots of dumb stuff, like every single Polynesian running back who comes along is going to be the next Harvey Unga, and you know what I've had enough. 

NEWS FLASH EVERYONE. Harvey Unga posted the 2nd best running back season of all-time at BYU. He was an honor code violation away from being the 11th person in the entire history of college football to rush for 1,000 yards in 4 consecutive seasons. He scored more TDs in a single season than anyone not named Luke Staley. He's possibly BYU's greatest running back. Full stop. 

I submit it's disrespectful to compare any random up and comers to Harvey Unga. We don't call every white QB the next Ty Detmer because it's blasphemy to do so. For Harvey it should be the same. Rant complete. 

So why Rice over Thomas? When I dug into it I was swayed by two things. One, Rice had more interceptions in fewer games. His senior season was particularly impressive, where he managed six interceptions despite opposing quarterbacks avoiding him at all costs. And two, this old DesNews story suggests that Rice basically played two seasons while only giving up one passing touchdown. That's nuts! That alone basically won me over. 

If you prefer Thomas over Rice in part due to Thomas playing longer and showing better health, I won't argue with that. By all accounts they were both excellent BYU players, with NFL careers to back it up. Honestly if I could go back in time I'd probably redo the Tom Holmoe pick and grab Rice there and Thomas here. 


10.7 Jordan Pendleton (drafted by Tax Commissioner Danny)

Ohhhh boy is this one of those big "What ifs". If Jordan Pendleton has any semblance of injury luck he goes down in history as one of the most consistent highlight makers to ever play at BYU. 

The first Pendleton highlight that comes to my mind is the falling out-of-bounds, one-handed interception. Devon's is the moment Jordan P the linebacker knocked Jordan W the quarterback into outer space. Tax Man Dan's isn't an actual Pendleton highlight but rather the moment KVN delivered a wordless testimony by wearing JP's jersey, which told us all we need to know about how much he meant to the team. 

I'm gonna need more friends to cover the rest of the memories. 

He made this unbelievable stop on the goal line stand against Oklahoma. He caused a fumble in that same Oklahoma game. He went Mr. Motor on OSU. He delivered a FU sack on Jordan Wynn immediately after BYU got penalized for a bogus unsportsmanlike conduct penalty. (By the way, watch some highlights from that '09 rivalry game and make sure you're emotionally prepared because Pendleton legitimately tortured Jordan Wynn that game.)

Finally, I have a memory of Pendleton jumping after a ball thrown out of bounds, and tipping it back inbounds to another person in the secondary who made the interception. Now ... I don't think this actually happened. The picture is clear as day in my mind but I've scoured the net and can't find any record of it anywhere. So I guess my final tribute to Pendleton is this:

He gave me so many memories I don't even remember what was real and what was imagined. 


10.8 J.D. Falslev (drafted by Cousin Newt)

In 2011 JD fumbled a kickoff against Utah. That was a mistake. I can live with a mistake. He then failed to recover the fumble, instead allowing a Ute who started the play 65 yards away to beat him to the ball. This was not a mistake. This was an abomination, a debacle, an affront to the gods of football and the BYU legends who came before JD. This I cannot live with. 

So I swore in front of my future father-in-law. I was calm. I did not yell. I just said, "I cannot watch this shit any further."

But I did. I watched all 54 of Utah's points, vowing that the suffering felt that day would be rewarded with glory in a future moment (spoiler alert: it hasn't). 

JD's numbers came consistently down the conveyor belt every season. 31 to 37 catches per season, 270 to 330 yards per season, 2 to 3 TDs per season, with a couple hundred punt return yards thrown in for good measure. Of those few touchdowns, one was very special to me, and helped JD redeem himself from the kickoff disaster.

In 2012 the city of Logan did me wrong, which made the BYU-USU game mean a little more to me than usual that year. It turned into a grinder of a game, what would normally be a boring, forgettable 6 to 3 affair. Bryan Farnsworth sponsored my ticket, and I think he fell asleep at one point in the second quarter, which is no easy feat given the uncomfortable nature of the endzone bleachers. 

Anyway, JD scored the lone TD of the game. Yes, it was the defense who ultimately put the Aggies to sleep, but I still think fondly of JD's contribution.

Oh and by the way, just for fun, when the city of Logan did me even worse in 2013, the Cougs took it a step further than just winning. As I described it once to Devon "Lasersheep" Smith:

"You take my wife? I take your quarterback."


10.9 Skipped (drafted by BRoyalBlueCoug)

Today I'm sad  BRoyal dropped out. I was hoping that for entertainment purposes someone would pick O'neill Chambers and I figured this was our best bet.


10.10 Hema Heimuli (drafted by Jay Drew)

Saying the name outloud -- Hema Heimuli -- reminds me of when Dolores Umbridge would say "hem, ahem" in Harry Potter. Speaking of, we haven't had enough Harry Potter references in these recaps. 

Hema Heimuli strikes me as a Ron Weasley sort, someone with superior elder brothers (like Lakei Heimuli) whose athletic achievements he's always trying to live up to. Hema also violently wrecked a car once, much like Ron wrecked his dad's Ford Anglia. Ron broke his wand; Hema broke his achilles tendon. Ron's first teenage lover called him "Won-Won", and Heimuli's first teenage lover called him "Hem-Hem".11. This might be a lie.

Then again, Hema was compared to a three-headed monster so maybe he's Fluffy.


Parting Thoughts from Round 10

Thought #1

I am firmly entrenched in the camp that believe Pendleton should be BYU's new Strength and Conditioning coach. Every player who goes to his academy comes out looking like a new man.

Thought #2

Rremember Eric "I will hurt you I care so much about football" Drage? Hema joined him in the same class of football passion after he rolled his car six times and released this gem of a statement. “I can’t help but ... feel blessed. We have a short time here (on earth) and we have to make the most of it. It makes me wonder if I have a mission here, to rush for 500 yards in a game or something.”

You know, most people who survive a near death experience come away thinking they were saved for the purposes of helping the world, or becoming a better person, or to make up for some mistake they made earlier in life. Not Hema. He thinks God saved him so he could set a BYU rushing record. LEGEND.

Thought #3

BYU fans, reporters, coaches, and basically every single human related to BYU has said during this offseason that losing Ty'son Williams cost us one or two games minimum last year. Normally when these tall tales gain so much momentum in the internet echo chambers I begin to doubt their validity. But this time I agree with the masses! If Ty'son plays the whole season -- and, crucially, if we give him the ball more than the 7 times we did against Utah -- there is no way we lose to the skidmark brothers (aka, Toledo and South Florida).

Thought #4

Ten rounds recapped, 100 players profiled/examined/remembered, 30 to go!


Round by Round Recap

No comments:

Post a Comment