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January 15, 2010

Feelings Dump

It was the indestructible John Casey of Chuck lore who staunched one of Chuck's emotional spills by saying, "I don't even care about my own feelings, why would I care about yours?"

I am not John Casey.  Unfortunately.

I care about my own feelings. If you don't (which is expected), then you know where to go.

Today I talk about the worst thing to ever befall  me.  It happened two weeks ago.  And last July.  And during May of last year, of course.  Not to mention July 12th of 2007.  And it will transpire again, no doubt.

The curse I speak of is that of making friends, followed by losing friends.  It's the worst of all life cycles (take that, menstrual).  No one is immune.

I despise losing friends.  Perhaps I'm overly sentimental about past memories.  Maybe I just get too used to the people I'm around.  I'm not sure what reason follows the why, just that when a cause for friendship separation occurs, I'm unsettled.  At my current age, these amistad-enders fall into three categories: missions, moves, and marriages (a murderers row of relationship killers - minus actual murder).  As I become more aged, undoubtedly the list will become less alliterative but remain just as powerful.  Co-workers leaving me behind, people shuffling within neighborhoods, not to mention the most powerful relationship stopper of them all - death.

In reality I should be grateful.  If a diminished friendship is the worst beating I'm expected to take then it's apparent I've lived a blessed, easy life, no doubt about it.  The closest I've come to cancer is via horoscope.  The only thing that's ever been robbed from me is my hair.  The one time I was attacked by someone a feisty member of the Warr clan dropped my opponent with one shove.

So, no, life hasn't been bad.  But losing friends -- however it happens -- sucks.

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