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I don't consider myself a man of many enemies, but once upon a time a guy pissed me off. A lot.
During a run-of-the-mill, no stakes game of ultimate frisbee, this fellow flattened my red-headed lover, Brooke Deem. As the red-headed lover jumped for the frisbee, the punk shoulder-slammed her to the ground like a middle linebacker would break a crossing wide receiver in half. Perhaps I made the wrong choice in not pummeling the jerk right then and there, but I decided to try and take down the enemy with an "accidental collision" of my own. Only I'd be going in fists first instead of shoulders. Alas, the opportunity never came.
Until today. Nine months later.
Sports, again, was the channel of conflict. Thanks to some purposely missed free throws, I found myself on the opposite team of this past offender. Vengeance was swift. My enemy's 2nd shot attempt? I swatted it so hard that the ball made out with his face. It wasn't long before I posterized the fool with another block. Then another. And one more for good measure. Four blocks, all against the same guy, in a single game, one of which was more like a volleyball smash into his teeth than an actual block. Yes, payback is wonderful.
The first swat was for Brooke. The second one was for her as well. The third was for me. And the fourth was just my way of saying, "You can go ahead and pick your nuts off the floor and head home now." Go home he did. And so did I. Happier than I'd been in quite some time.
Thus I am left with two things to say:
1) Sports rock.
2) So does getting revenge.
Until today. Nine months later.
Sports, again, was the channel of conflict. Thanks to some purposely missed free throws, I found myself on the opposite team of this past offender. Vengeance was swift. My enemy's 2nd shot attempt? I swatted it so hard that the ball made out with his face. It wasn't long before I posterized the fool with another block. Then another. And one more for good measure. Four blocks, all against the same guy, in a single game, one of which was more like a volleyball smash into his teeth than an actual block. Yes, payback is wonderful.
The first swat was for Brooke. The second one was for her as well. The third was for me. And the fourth was just my way of saying, "You can go ahead and pick your nuts off the floor and head home now." Go home he did. And so did I. Happier than I'd been in quite some time.
Thus I am left with two things to say:
1) Sports rock.
2) So does getting revenge.
This made my day, sweet vengeance
ReplyDeleteBrooke would be proud!
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