This day Team Davis and Team Odysseus play not for advancement but for the chance to receive the greatest crown known to sport: the fictional championship trophy awarded by the 2.9 billionth most viewed website on the internet.
That's right. We're talking about the Spencer Hansen Blogger's Cup.
In the fight for this most prestigious hardware the #2 seed Odysseus will start...
QB Marc Wilson DL Jim Herrmann
RB Luke Staley DL Brett Kiesel
RB Matt Bellini LB Kyle Van Noy
WR Andy Boyce LB Leon White
WR Margin Hooks DB Derwin Gray
WR Mark Bellini DB Brian Mitchell
TE Itula Mili
While the #4 seed Team Davis will call upon...
QB Steve Young DL Ryan Denney
RB Ronny Jenkins DL Lenny Gomes
RB Brian McKenzie LB Rob Morris
WR Jonathan Pittman LB Jordan Pendleton
WR Ben Cahoon DB Corby Eason
WR Matt Odle DB Omarr Morgan
TE Gordon Hudson
Date: 9/1/2020
Location: Cougar(board) Stadium
Odds: Team Odysseus -2.5
Over/Under: 51
Odds: Team Odysseus -2.5
Over/Under: 51
Note: for links to the beginning of our draft, start here. For links to the tournament games, start here. For all things BYU related I've written, click here. On to the game!
First Half Recap
Welcome to the BYU Fantasy Super Bowl!
In a high pressure, winner-take-all, nationally televised game (on the Mountain Network, but still) you want players with clutch experience and Team Davis has just that. Steve Young has been here before. In fact the last time he played in a Super Bowl he threw six touchdown passes and set a record that lives to this day.
Team Davis will need a superstar performance from Steve Young, because on paper Team Odysseus holds the edge at every other position besides tight end.
RB: Staley and Bellini vs Jenkins and McKenzie (advantage Odysseus)
WR: Hooks, Bellini, Boyce vs Pittman, Cahoon, and the inferior Odle (advantage Odysseus)
DL: Herrmann and Kiesel vs Denney and Gomes (advantage Odysseus)
LB: Van Noy and White vs Morris and Pendleton (advantage Odysseus)
DB: Gray and Mitchell vs Morgan and Eason (advantage Odysseus)
TE: Itula Mili vs Gordon Hudson (advantage Davis)
But if you think Coach Davis and his troops are intimidated, well think twice. During the pre-game warmups Lenny Gomes gets into a shoving match with Brett Kiesel after Kiesel carries the Odysseus team flag a little too close to the Davis sideline. Both benches clear while unsportsmanlike conduct flags rain down from the sky. No punches are thrown, but Coach Davis has to be restrained by Corby Eason.
"You think you're better than us?" screams Coach Davis. "I'm a man, I'm 35! I beat Jay Drew! He writes for the paper!"
The first drives of the game have noticeably less action that the pre-game shenanigans. Marc Wilson and company start out punting the ball away, and Young and friends punt right back. Staley leads Team Odysseus to a 42-yard field goal try that clanks off the post for a miss. Team Davis fails to turn the quality field position into points. The third drive for Team Odysseus advances to mid-field but Andy Boyce gets hit so hard by Pendleton over the middle that even Jamaal Williams would have fumbled the ball. As the ball dances on the turf Ryan Denney pounces on it.
Coach Davis has started the game with a heavy running attack, hoping to drag the Mitchell-Gray-Van Noy trio of ballhawks closer to the line of scrimmage to open up passing lanes. But Jenkins and McKenzie haven't managed to cut the Odysseus defense in any meaningful way just yet. Coach Davis decides to calls once again for his option attack. Young takes the snap, is met quickly by Herrmann, pitches to Jenkins, who is immediately dragged down by Leon White. Even their favorite plays aren't working right now.
Team Davis is at the Odysseus 48 yard line. The adrenaline expelled in the pre-game brouhaha has left both sides drained in the early going. It's the no mans land of punting, and Coach Davis knows his team needs a spark. Coach Davis has gambled before, going for two last game instead of settling for overtime against Team Newt. But Coach Davis also knows that Coach Odysseus would expect a fake punt from this area of the field more than any other. So Coach Davis reaches deep into his bag of tricks, past the 4th down plays, past the fake punts, and settles on a little something called The Onside Punt.
What is an Onside Punt? It's a play first made famous by the Super Bowels, aka my college flag football team. In our college league there was no such thing as fumbles -- as soon as the ball hit the ground the play was dead. Onside kicks also were not allowed. That's because kicks weren't allowed. You couldn't attempt field goals and kickoffs were executed via punt. So when we found ourselves down one score in a playoff game, "kicking off" with only a couple of minutes left in the game, our best player pulled us in for a huddle and said:
"I'm going to punt this ball as high as I possibly can. I don't care if it only goes 7 yards down the field. I want you guys to surround the return man and pressure him into bobbling the ball. Maybe if we're lucky it will bounce to one of us before it hits the ground."
And I swear on the grave of LaVell that is exactly what happened. The ball bounced off the return man's face -- his face!!! -- and right into the arms of one of our gunners. The refs had no choice but to award us the ball. It had never touched the ground. And thus the Onside Punt was born.
Unfortunately we went on to lose the game but that's beside the point.
The play was later stolen from us and used by the University of Utah, against BYU of all teams, to great effect in the 2010 rivalry game. Ok fine, what the Utes did was actually not an Onside Punt, but the ugly stepsister of the Onside Punt. In the 2010 game their kicker botched a punt so bad that it only went 6 yards and accidentally bounced into a BYU player who was running down to cover the kick. You think I'm making this up? Here's the sad reminder. It is just one of a million insane, ludicrous breaks that have plagued BYU during the rivalry losing streak.
Wow, that was quite the detour. Where were we? Oh yeah. Team Davis called for the onside punt.
The kick does not go high and it does not go far. In fact it's only in the air for about one second. Which was perfect. Derwin Gray can only imagine the worst as he feels the ball bounce off his back. Team Davis recovers and Ben Cahoon scores five plays later on a 3-yard pass from Steve Young to make it 7 to 0.
In response Luke Staley chews up first down after first down as Team Odysseus drives to the Davis goal line. On second and goal from the 1, Marc Wilson tries to QB sneak his way into the endzone. One official runs down the line, signaling touchdown. The other runs in and signals it's Team Davis' possession. Both teams are shouting and shoving as the refs pull the stack of bodies off of each other, only to finally reveal Lenny Gomes at the bottom of the pile, cradling the ball.
He can barely breathe, but that doesn't stop him from dunking on his favorite opponent.
"Man (deep breath) ... I'm out of gas ... (huff, puff) ... are there any Utes around that could help me out?"
For a minute or two it looks like Team Davis will convert the turnover into a clock-killing, 99-yard touchdown drive to go up 14-0. But after 9 plays the drive fizzles, and at halftime the most anticipated match of the tournament has produced two turnovers, an intentional botched punt, a host of normal punts, a missed field goal, and a drab 7-0 line. Whoever bet on Ben Cahoon to score the first points in the game is happily cashing their ticket in right about now.
Second Half Recap
That great bastion of information, the most reliable of sources, yea, even Wikipedia, informs me that the original Odysseus of ancient fame was known for his versatility. Now we know where Coach Odysseus got his second half game plan from.
In the first two games of the tournament Coach Odysseus didn't have to coach much beyond instructing Marc Wilson to give Luke Staley the ball any way he wants it, as much as he wants it. But this approach didn't pay dividends in the first half of the tournament championship. So in quarter number three it's time to shake things up and unleash the greatest duo of sporting brothers since Fred and George Weasley roamed the Quidditch pitch.
On first down a simple fake to Staley sucks in Morris and Pendleton and Wilson hits Mark Bellini for an easy 11. The next pass finds Matt Bellini running free in the flat. Gain of 13. It's back to Mark now for 12. A handoff to Matt. A pass to Matt. In total the Super Non-Mario Brothers combine for 8 of the 10 touches on the drive, with Marc to Mark accounting for a 7-yard TD throw and catch which ties the game.
This display of offense seems to inspire both teams to better play. That or both coaches are really good at half time adjustments. Young avoided throwing the ball much in the first half but comes out roaring in the third quarter. He finds his favorite target, Gordon Hudson, repeatedly over the course of a 7 play scoring drive. Team Odysseus, borrowing a little bit of the trickeration Team Hansen used with aplomb, run a play that sees Marc Wilson pitch to Matt Bellini, who throws to a wide open Itula Mili for a gain of 28. The drive ends with Luke Staley scoring his tournament leading 9th touchdown. It's 14 all.
The following drive looks to be a mere footnote in the box score of this game: 5 plays, 13 yards gained, Team Davis punts. But here comes Kyle Van Noy to change all that. He flies through a hole on 4th down and the Team Davis punter is blocked in as humiliating a fashion as Gobert did Jokic just a few days past. Team Odysseus wastes no time on the sudden change in possession. Luke Staley gets a pitch on the outside from Wilson and is never touched by a Davis defender. That's ten tournament scores for Staley and Team Odysseus leads 21 to 14.
Will Team Davis hold serve? Young finds Hudson over the middle and then McKenzie in the screen game to move into Odysseus territory. But as Greg Wrubell always liked to say, "KVN - does it - again!"
This display of offense seems to inspire both teams to better play. That or both coaches are really good at half time adjustments. Young avoided throwing the ball much in the first half but comes out roaring in the third quarter. He finds his favorite target, Gordon Hudson, repeatedly over the course of a 7 play scoring drive. Team Odysseus, borrowing a little bit of the trickeration Team Hansen used with aplomb, run a play that sees Marc Wilson pitch to Matt Bellini, who throws to a wide open Itula Mili for a gain of 28. The drive ends with Luke Staley scoring his tournament leading 9th touchdown. It's 14 all.
The following drive looks to be a mere footnote in the box score of this game: 5 plays, 13 yards gained, Team Davis punts. But here comes Kyle Van Noy to change all that. He flies through a hole on 4th down and the Team Davis punter is blocked in as humiliating a fashion as Gobert did Jokic just a few days past. Team Odysseus wastes no time on the sudden change in possession. Luke Staley gets a pitch on the outside from Wilson and is never touched by a Davis defender. That's ten tournament scores for Staley and Team Odysseus leads 21 to 14.
Will Team Davis hold serve? Young finds Hudson over the middle and then McKenzie in the screen game to move into Odysseus territory. But as Greg Wrubell always liked to say, "KVN - does it - again!"
Did Team Davis even line up with a right tackle on this play? It's hard to tell because Van Noy blows past the offensive line before any attempt at resistance is mustered. Young is blindsided and the ball pops free. It's picked up by Jim Herrmann and the big fellow labors for 11 yards before he's pulled down by Hudson. Marc Wilson is ready to strike and sure enough finds Margin Hooks for a TD to double the Odysseus lead, 28 to 14.
We're in the fourth quarter now and facing a two TD deficit means Team Davis needs something special as they come to 4th and 8 on their own side of the field. There's comfort in the fact that Steve Young and Coach Davis have been here before. In their first game of the tournament they trailed Team Drew by 11 entering the fourth quarter. But Jonathan Pittman has been here before too - in real life.
We're in the fourth quarter now and facing a two TD deficit means Team Davis needs something special as they come to 4th and 8 on their own side of the field. There's comfort in the fact that Steve Young and Coach Davis have been here before. In their first game of the tournament they trailed Team Drew by 11 entering the fourth quarter. But Jonathan Pittman has been here before too - in real life.
The hero of 4th and 13 fame in the 2000 Utah game has been quiet all game, and even all tournament, but he shows up huge for Team Davis when their tournament is on the line. He converts the 4th down despite having Mitchell draped all over him. The next play is good for 32 more yards to Pittman. It isn't quite as legendary as the "70 yards in two plays" he gave us during LaVell's last miracle, but it's enough to spark a Team Davis scoring drive. Ronney Jenkins is stopped on first and goal, and again on second, but Pittman puts his stamp on the drive with a diving catch in the corner of the endzone on third down. The lead for Team Odysseus is now 28-21.
Team Odysseus responds in the most ruthless way imaginable. The Bellini brothers, with a little help from Staley and Hooks, deliver a soul-killing, 13-play, 7-minute drive that ends in a field goal and officially puts the hopes of Team Davis on life support. Steve Young and his friends on offense will need ten points in just under 75 seconds to force overtime.
There's hope early for Team Davis. Young finds Pittman on the first play of the drive and Pittman's fourth catch of the quarter is a beauty. He corrals the ball as he's knocked out of bounds. Gain of 24, clock stopped. The next play is a dump off to Jenkins that nets another first down and another clock stoppage. It's first and ten and Young drops back. Young looks for Hudson, who is covered by Van Noy. Pittman is wrapped up by Mitchell. Leon White is in lockstep with McKenzie. Herrmann is rounding his block and headed for Young. This play is going nowhere ... until Young decides to go somewhere.
Young dodges Herrmann, he slips away from Keisel's grab, he runs through a crease in the pocket and it's up to the secondary now. Young is following a block from Hudson, who escorts Van Noy out of the club. Young jukes away from Gray, abandons Hudson, and is racing Mitchell to the endzone. It's a 40-yard dash, Mitchell dives, hits Young's cleat, and stops him at the 31 yard line of Team Odysseus. With 45 seconds left Team Davis takes three swings at the endzone, strikes out, and sends the field goal team to the field. The kick is good. It's 31-24. Team Davis holds its collective breath as the special teams enter play.
The onside kick bounces toward the sideline. Mili has the first shot at recovery but he is smashed by Rob Morris. The ball is loose, the scrum is on. The ball is recovered by ... it can't be! ... it's recovered by Lenny Gomes! His second clutch fumble recovery of the game. Just moments earlier Cougarboard was calling for Coach Davis to be fired for putting a lineman in an onside kick, but who are we to argue with results?
Team Odysseus responds in the most ruthless way imaginable. The Bellini brothers, with a little help from Staley and Hooks, deliver a soul-killing, 13-play, 7-minute drive that ends in a field goal and officially puts the hopes of Team Davis on life support. Steve Young and his friends on offense will need ten points in just under 75 seconds to force overtime.
There's hope early for Team Davis. Young finds Pittman on the first play of the drive and Pittman's fourth catch of the quarter is a beauty. He corrals the ball as he's knocked out of bounds. Gain of 24, clock stopped. The next play is a dump off to Jenkins that nets another first down and another clock stoppage. It's first and ten and Young drops back. Young looks for Hudson, who is covered by Van Noy. Pittman is wrapped up by Mitchell. Leon White is in lockstep with McKenzie. Herrmann is rounding his block and headed for Young. This play is going nowhere ... until Young decides to go somewhere.
Young dodges Herrmann, he slips away from Keisel's grab, he runs through a crease in the pocket and it's up to the secondary now. Young is following a block from Hudson, who escorts Van Noy out of the club. Young jukes away from Gray, abandons Hudson, and is racing Mitchell to the endzone. It's a 40-yard dash, Mitchell dives, hits Young's cleat, and stops him at the 31 yard line of Team Odysseus. With 45 seconds left Team Davis takes three swings at the endzone, strikes out, and sends the field goal team to the field. The kick is good. It's 31-24. Team Davis holds its collective breath as the special teams enter play.
The onside kick bounces toward the sideline. Mili has the first shot at recovery but he is smashed by Rob Morris. The ball is loose, the scrum is on. The ball is recovered by ... it can't be! ... it's recovered by Lenny Gomes! His second clutch fumble recovery of the game. Just moments earlier Cougarboard was calling for Coach Davis to be fired for putting a lineman in an onside kick, but who are we to argue with results?
With an onside kick and an onside punt on their ledger, it's starting to look like Team Davis is a team of destiny. Coach Davis certainly hopes so, because there's only 4 seconds left in the game. It's Hail Mary time.
On the sideline Young switches out his jersey for the one he stole from McMahon when he was a freshman. Gordon Hudson looks to the heavens. Corby Eason rubs the lucky drawing Bronco drew for him during his recruiting visit. Coach Davis performs the sign of the crossing route.
On the final play of the game Young takes the snap, retreats a number of steps, and throws the ball into the air. The pass is coming in just short of the end zone. Four bodies converge on the one yard line: Gordon Hudson doing his best Clay Brown impression, Gray, Van Noy, and Mitchell doing everything they can to not play the part of the SMU defense. Hudson, encompassed by enemies, improbably brings the ball into his arms. He's tackled, his knee is down, his arm is extended. The clock expires. The ball is right on the goal line.
Confusion reigns. Both teams think they've won but the officials are huddled together and haven't indicated anything. The head ref spots the ball and it's right on the line but no one can tell for sure if the tip of the ball is crossing the plane of the endzone. Coach Odysseus calls for the pylon cams to review but the head referee just laughs. "C'mon coach, this is the Mountain Network we're talking about. We don't even have announcers."
In the end there's only one thing to do. The line judge pulls out his temple recommend and places it perpendicular to the nose of the football to see if the piece of paper touches the goal line. Everyone bends down for a closer look.
There is a single row of green grass between the end zone and the recommend. The Hail Mary falls short by a single blade. Team Odysseus is the BYU Fantasy Tournament Champion! Marc Wilson, the first consensus all-american quarterback for BYU, the Churchmen Hall of Famer (apparently this was a thing?) finally has his day in the sun.
As Coach Odysseus crosses the field to shake hands with Coach Davis, he's cornered by Erin Andrews.
As Coach Odysseus crosses the field to shake hands with Coach Davis, he's cornered by Erin Andrews.
"Coach, what a way to end the game and the tournament. What's going through your mind?"
Coach Odysseus smiles.
"Erin, you and I know there's only one appropriate thing to say right now. The Odyssey is complete!"
Final Score
Team Odysseus 31
Team Davis 24
Player of the Game
Kyle Van Noy - 7 tackles, 1 sack, 1 forced fumble, 1 blocked punt, 2 tackles for loss, 1 pass deflected
Tournament MVP
Luke Staley - His three game totals: 308 yards rushing, 7 TDs; 202 yards receiving, 3 TDs
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