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November 13, 2009

Time to Teach

I've decided.

Took long enough I suppose. A lot of dreams died along the way. There were the early days when I wanted to play for the Jazz. That career was dropped in favor of being an architect. Next on the dream job list was sports announcer. After that I wanted to be a journalist. The next thought was to be a physicist. Then a seminary teacher. Bob Costas' hair stylist. Statistician. Electrician. Football coach. Latex salesman. Caddie. Male prostitute. Accountant.

The list of possible careers ran lengthy indeed, but one path seemed to beckon me more than any other.


I like it. I like to present, lecture, mentor, instruct, anwer questions, and tell jokes. It's with that in mind that I reveal my newest dream job: I want to become a professor. No Mr. Hansen, CPA Hansen, Coach Hansen, or Brother Hansen for me -- Professor Hansen is the title I desire.

Why the dream of professorship? Why sign up for another four years of school? Well, after carefully examining various persons and their accompanying proffesions, I've found that the people with the best lives are professors. Consider the following examples of professors who live (or did live) the good life:

Professor #1 - Robert Langdon
The Da Vince Code star leads a life filled with danger, dames, and drama. A professor of symbology at Harvard, Lagndon solves international mysteries while wearing a tweed jacket, and plays water polo in his spare time.

Professor #2 - Severus Snape
Snape managed a double-agent life that would make James Bond envious. He lived in a castle, terrorized children, carried out secret missions, and mastered the art of self-defense.

Professor #3 - Henry Jones Jr, aka Indiana Jones
No life can match the standard of greatness set by Professor Jones. Indy's archeology classes are often interuppted by crusades for religious artifacts. He fights nazis and woos women in the process, and his dad is Sean Conrey. His fedora hat alone would make anyone's life better.

Thus we see the elements that make life good: Crusades. Danger. Tweed jackets. Double-crossings. Secret missions. Drama. Water polo. Fedoras. Girls. And, of course, teaching.

If my life as a professor can be one-fourth as interesting as the lives of these examplars, I will have chosen the correct profession indeed. And if not, I'll still be happy, for I'll have achieved the first goal I ever had as a child. You see, long before I wanted to be an NBA star or a journalist or an architect, I wanted to be Indiana Jones.

Well, in some small, miniscule degree, here's my chance.

1 comment:

  1. Ah crap, I think I want to teach too.