Tales from the Crypto

I've had the runs for about 6 weeks now. I'm surprised too, they've never stuck with me this long before. I credit three people for putting me in my current state:

1) The physics professor
2) The colombian sidekick
3) The red-headed lover

Thanks guys, I couldn't have achieved it without you.

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I've always been a fairly athletic fellow. I run hard when playing sports and other physical games. I enjoy it. I like to hustle. I like to run if there’s a purpose to it. But I never enjoyed running laps in the gym, running to get in shape, or running for recreation. The idea about running for fun? Not for me.

My philosophy on running began to change, however, when I met Gene Vantassel--physics professor and marathon runner extraordinaire. The physics professor was the first person I met who had the runs. I was intrigued. I wanted to know how he found entertainment in running for multiple hours without a purpose. We conversed.

Me: I can't run unless I'm playing a game. How can you run just for fun?

Him: Because it makes me feel good.

Me: How? Running makes me want to hurl. Spit clogs my throat. Sweat goes in my eyes. Cramps happen. What's good about that?

Him: It's hard and that's what I like. If it were easy the secretaries would do it.

I remained intrigued, but was not convinced. My running for fun days were still far away.

I, like Jerry before me, was hesitant to join the runners

The colombian sidekick loved to run. More than sleeping, eating, dating, reading, or any other gerund, he loved to run. He'd bother me the whole day if for some reason we skipped the early morning run. So we ran. 6 days a week for the final three months of my mission. I didn't like it, but I didn't hate it either. I was closer to adopting the runs than I had ever previously been. Yet in my heart I knew it was the colombian forcing me into it. I still hadn’t chosen to run. I needed more convincing.

I'm not surprised that it was a girl who did the convincing. My history shows that when a girl I like invites me to do something, I'll do it. Such was the case with the runs. The red-headed lover loved to run, and I loved the red-headed lover. So I began to run. And I continue to run. 6 weeks have gone by with me running nearly every day. The spit clog, the sweat stains, the stomach cramps -- such daily bothers became a badge of honor signifying a run that if not fun, was at least well done. The moment of complete conversion came when I found myself including my running gear as part of my packing for our annual family vacation. In the past such an idea would have never crossed my mind; now the runs couldn't leave it.

As I told my story to an associate of mine, she mentioned that in order to prove I was truly born again I should participate in an upcoming 10K to be held in Logan. I liked the idea so much that I researched the aspects of the run. One detail stood out from the rest: participation in the 10K would cost $16.

Run for fun? Yeah, I'll do it any day.

But pay to run? It'll take more than a red-headed lover to convince me to do that.