Stray vs Sifu on the clock

-- Two video game reviews on a timer

I saw an idea for wannabe bloggers like myself of setting a timer and hitting publish on the post no matter the state of the writing once the time was up. The idea -- hey cool I've already used idea twice in two sentences, I'm sucks at this -- being to 1) discourage perfectionism and 2) encourage writing, even nonsense writing, because once the words start flowing creativity has the chance to flourish (or so I suppose).

So on a 35-minute timer, I present a review of Sifu and Stray, a pair of games that are like two patties in the same hamburger, but only one is made of beef. Does that make sense? You tell me Ronald McDonald.

Sifu and Stray are short games, much like their four and five letter titles suggest. In Sifu you are a kung fu artist on a revenge tour. In Stray you are a cat. Neither game is what I would call atmospheric. There isn't meaningful audible dialogue in either playable, and neither game goes deep. Sifu's most charming aspect is the dodge function, a timing-dependent move that sounds exactly like what it is - a dodge. Stray's most charming aspect ... we'll come to that later.

28 minute warning!

Sifu is interesting. It's a hard game. Not hard like Elden Ring hard, but much harder than its closest brawling contemporaries like the recent Batman trilogy. There isn't a way to ever be totally safe and I loved that fact. You couldn't just hide behind a block; you'd eventually falter and get pummeled. Likewise your health doesn't automatically restore. This environment of constant danger makes the moments when you duck under a punch really sing. It feels like your life depends on perfectly timing that dodge because well it does depend on it. 

This means the best moment I experienced in Sifu was the same that many reviewers and praisers raved about. I was swarmed by enemies. One came at me with a Barry Bonds swing of his bat. I ducked just in time, the bat swooshed above my head, the swing carried all the way into an opponent who was behind me, leveling him, while I crotch punched the now vulnerable Mr. Bonds. I tell ya what -- that's a great feeling. Video games that can generate memorable moments like that deserve a nod of appreciation, a verse or two on a blog praising its creativity before vomiting up some criticism.

And yes there is criticism. You know what isn't a great feeling? That you're a kung fu weakling. And this is my gripe with Sifu. I never once felt powerful in the game. It feels cool to be a dodge master, but being able to dodge while not being able to punish after the dodge is akin to the Seinfeld rental car dilemma. Sifu takes the reservation, but it doesn't hold it. Or to translate to english: there is nothing in Sifu that makes you feel powerful. All of the punches are so quick, and decrease so little health, that a victory is often a matter of avoiding, punching, retreating, repeating. That's four words that end with 'ing' and only one of them fulfills the type of fantasy I expect to encounter in a video game about karate revenge. In Sifu there is no Heavy Cleave like in God of War, no Batman's uppercut, no boxer's TKO. The cool move you can do when you charge up your bonus meter is an eye poke. Another one is a ducking crotch punch. Another is an elbow drop that is the opposite of The Rock's. None of it feels powerful. Or good. Or fun.

Maybe having the punches feel weak was intentional, a replica to historic form the game is based on. If so, fine I get it. But that doesn't mean I have to like it.

So where does that leave us? Stray is a game about wandering around as a cat. The only audio it has is background music and meows. There is no combat mechanic. This cat isn't Climps; he's not scratching bees to protect a hairy teen who sleeps. There is no eating mechanic. This cat isn't Climps; he's not pulling the ham out of a sandwhich while a hairy teen uses the bathroom. 

But this game is focused, like a hairy teen who needs to make sure his dream girlfriend watches him dunk in a churchball game. Unlike that dunker it succeeds at what it sets out to do, and I think in that sense it has the upper hand on Sifu, although really both of these game should be compared to phone game platformers or fighters more than the PS5 AAA titles I usually dive into.

Stray has charm man. You do so much cat stuff. You jump on a board game while two robots are playing, causing outrage as you disrupt the pieces. You type nonsense on keyboards, play chaos on pianos. You reveal hidden passages by pulling down curtains via the scratch. (12 minutes left, I'm doing ok!) You can get your head stuck in a paper bag and the controls will go skiwampus (whoa who knows how to spell that word). You can walk through doors with bars on them, which is such a fun revelation, given that an entire century of video games has marked inaccessible areas via gated or barred doors. This might be the nerdiest moment in the history of my blog, but the first time I wove through the bars of such a door I almost gasped. Hat tip to whichever member of the team came up with that one.

There was some cat chow left in the can however. There are other cat happenings I would have enjoyed seeing. Throughout the game you're often chased by enemies. Why not have the cat chase a rat or something for a meal at some point? It would have been a fun change of pace and at least a slightly different mechanic. Why not let the user control the nature of the cats tail, if it's neutral, up, or down? (ahhh, so this might be the nerdiest sentence ever written on the blog. Got it). I mean there's a button for meowing -- seems reasonable that there could have been a button dedicated to tail altitude. I also would have enjoyed if you could weave around robots legs in the classic sign of cat tolerance, if not actual love since you know cats aren't capable of such emotion unlike that most holy of animals, the dog, who greets all newcomers with growls barks and bites, all while the accompanying owner says, "don't worry, they won't bite". Such a weird thing. But now I'm getting off track. I hate dogs. Sick of getting bit you read me?

I'll use my last few minutes to say while neither game has much of a story, Stray's effort is better. Earlier somewhere I said the game wasn't atmospheric. That's not true. I really liked the robots, the environment, and the quest to reunite this unnamed cat with his family. I've often joked about being a cat. Now I've played as one and my time as a feline was solid. If I was an actual cat reviewing this, I would say meow, which means, I tolerated Stray. Which according to cat haters is the highest praise they can show things. But I know the truth.

Cats love.

And I love them back. Just not Stray. That game, while better than Sifu, sits in the just friends category.