The Virtual BYU Football Season - 2022

-- Covering week 1 through ... well you'll see

Ladies and gentleman!
Here comes the quarterback!
The moment you've been waiting for!
Here comes the quarterback!
The pride of Mount Olympis!
Here comes the quarterback!
J Everson!

We are no longer outgunned. New starting quarterback J Everson went to the Karl Malone school of offseason training and came back to Provo with a 7-point increase in his attributes, making him a 96-rated player, which means he's the most talented quarterback I've ever coached. If he doesn't go pro he'll trot out with a 99 next year, putting him on the shortlist of Heisman candidates. And he hasn't even played meaningful snaps yet. Ah, even as a coach I have a fan inside me.

This is only one prong of our offensive trident however. In an absolute shocker Eric Temple decides to return for his senior season. He'll lead the way on the ground with a 94-rating. Thomas Hawkins is a 94 as well, and is walking around campus with a chip on his shoulder after a disapointing 2021. This trio should be the most electric collection of offensive talent BYU has had since the Hall-Unga-Collie era.

And it's that way across the whole team. Remember when I had seven redshirt freshman starting last year? Well those guys are all staring at mid-80 rankings now. They're no longer liabilites. And some of them aren't even starting now that injuries have been recovered from. We're deep. We're talented. Cornerback Freddie Williams might be one of the best secondary players in the country.

All in all, my team is ranked an A in offense, an A in defense, and an A in special teams. Remember many years ago when we lost to Notre Dame 59 to 0 and they were As in every category? That's BYU now. We are ranked #2 in the preseason top-25. Our first game of the season comes against Utah and that little streak they've been bragging about the last couple of years? It's about to get nuked. Let's begin.

Week 1 #2 BYU at Utah
J Everson hasn't played much, but he's been in the system for three spring and fall camps. He's as ready of a sophomore as you're going to see. And he proves it this day.

On the opening drive he completes 7 passes and runs in a touchdown. Utah fails to get a first down on their first drive and our offense takes over on the 20-yard line. Everson drops back ... and finds Eric Temple for an 80-yard touchdown pass. The horses are unleashed. We onside kick, and Everson leads another score. It's 21 to 0 before the first quarter has ended.

And so the game goes. It's like the 2008 UCLA game all over again, except against the team I hate more than any other on the planet. I thought our team would be good, the game thought our team would be good, but I doubt either entity thought we'd be this good. By the end of the afternoon it's a 63 to 0 castration. The streak is ended. The locker room celebration is ridiculous. Temple rushes for 130, receives for another 110. Hawkins catches 106. Everson throws for 400 yards and 5 touchdowns in his debut, rushes for 1, on the road, against a rival. Suddenly I don't feel so stupid for thinking he could be a Heisman candidate.

And yes, I know the game is likely to screw me. I understand that. We've lost to UTEP. To Hawaii twice. This game's motto is that it does drugs. But at this point, at this time, all I'm thinking about is bringing a second national championship to BYU.


Week 2 #1 BYU vs #18 Virginia
Up next on our revenge tour de force is a showdown with Bronco. Our detonation of Utah has moved us up to #1 in the polls for the first time since 1984. I'm excited to see J slap around Bronco's defense. I hit sim ...

and nothing happens.

I hit sim again ...

and nothing happens. I start to sweat. I reset the game. I hit sim. Nothing. I reset the game. I reload my save file. I eject the disk and give it a deep cleaning. I try every trick in the book. I go to reddit. The internet confirms I've encountered an error from which there is no recovering. I've lost everything. My memory file is corrupt -- and not the good corrupt like in that Chuck commercial. We will never see what becomes of J Everson's career, of Eric Temple's senior season, of BYU's most talented roster since the 1980s glory days.

This project is over.  

I'm sad, but not because this marks the end of the journey, one in which I failed on the goal of bringing BYU its second title. I can live with putting the project on hold cause the offseason is over and the real season is nigh upon us (YAHOOOOOO!!!). Thank goodness, cause I was getting tired of this game. Recruiting is a chore.

No, the real reason I'm sad is because I wonder if this game is a sign of the future. A future in which BYU in real life marvelously and magically gathers enough talent to compete with the tops of college football once again. Maybe BYU really does get invited to the Big 12 this time, maybe that's enough to swing a few recruits our direction, which is maybe enough to beat Utah, which is maybe enough to swing two or three more in-state recruits our way. Maybe that's enough to raise our profile into a consistent top-25 team. And maybe one day the body of that top-25 team is blessed with a QB like Zach or Taysom or Max or John or Ty or Steve or Jim or Robbie or Sark or Wilson or Doman and that QB elevates us to a level at which we not only cremate the Utes by 60 points but also are in contention for a national championship. I believe that day will come, maybe it'll be the year 2037. We'll be the number one ranked team in the country. The world will be our oyster, or Cougar tail if you prefer. I can see it so clearly. We'll be in week two of the season, happily dancing after smoking our rival so badly that our players are getting Traeger endorsements,  preparing for the greatest season of our lives ... and then, just like with my virtual journey, right as we're on the cusp of glory, everything will be stopped.

Because it will be time for the second coming.

Could there ever be anything more BYU than that?