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February 1, 2015

Tom Brady, I Root for You

-- While the nation hates at large, one fan remains



In contrast to the vast, non-Boston portion of the population, I love Tom Brady.

These are the reasons.

1.  He punts.

2.  He gets fired up, like a pale Russ Westbrook.

3.  Dude's got serious looks.11. Please click this link upon finishing that sentence.

4.  He graduated from Michigan, which is the closest thing I have to a second favorite college football team thanks to their color scheme, helmets, stadium, and hate of Ohio State.22. I hate Ohio State, except for when they embarrass overrated Pac-12 opponents in the National Championship game. Then I don't mind them at all.

5.  He quarterbacked one of the all-time 'Eff-you' seasons in 2007.

6.  He's married to a supermodel.

7.  His supermodel wife makes more money than he does.

8.  He's gone to six super bowls. Who does that?

9.  He doesn't give a dump about his public perception. So his wife makes more money than he does? Brady lowers his contract. You don't like that he grows out his hair like a girl? He turns around and models Ugg boots. This, while being the face of the manliest of all sports.

10.  He has acting chops.

11.  Before marrying a supermodel he dated an actress.

12.  Before dating an actress he dated a Playmate.

13.  He once lived in a house with a moat. This house.



In summary: Tom Brady is rich, successful, dates celebrities, is beautiful, and lived in a house with a moat. Tom Brady basically is Batman.

I love Batman.

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