-- Remembering the lineups, the skills, the rankings
In the year of 2004, during that sweet middle spot after the passing of AP tests but before graduation and missions spit us into locations afar, there was the playing of basketball. For the mighty Ligers of Valley it was ...
Landon Squire (PG)
Carlos Santana (SG)
Nathan Ballard (SF)
Bryan Farnsworth (PF)
and Hyrum Jenson (C) against the West Lake 'Stangs featuring ...
Bunna Veth (PG)
Austin Higginson (SG)
Spencer Hansen (SF)
Ryan Pearspn, née Pearson (PF)
and Zac Roner (C)
Reserves on either side, though never deployed, consisted of Devon Smith and Danny Moorman for the Ligers and Ian Wright for the Mustangs.
In the year of 2004, during that sweet middle spot after the passing of AP tests but before graduation and missions spit us into locations afar, there was the playing of basketball. For the mighty Ligers of Valley it was ...
Landon Squire (PG)
Carlos Santana (SG)
Nathan Ballard (SF)
Bryan Farnsworth (PF)
and Hyrum Jenson (C) against the West Lake 'Stangs featuring ...
Bunna Veth (PG)
Austin Higginson (SG)
Spencer Hansen (SF)
Ryan Pearspn, née Pearson (PF)
and Zac Roner (C)
Reserves on either side, though never deployed, consisted of Devon Smith and Danny Moorman for the Ligers and Ian Wright for the Mustangs.
We played 5.7 (5.8?) games out of 7 and to think back on such times is to be reminded that while keeping in touch with friends of yesteryear is no easy task, the joys of bygone eras are not to be forgotten. Have I ever had more fun playing basketball? I once won a title in church ball when my buddy Mark Warr scored on a last second shot. I once recreated the famous Stockton-to-Malone full court heave against the Bulls with Nathan. I once blocked a future NFL player. All such moments I would trade for another game of 2004 glory.
With time travel not currently an option, I seek to remember the good times via a memorial in three parts. The first, which you're currently reading, will list the profiles of the players. The second will be a recap of all the games played, while the third will be the sad tale of the failed Pearspn-Farnsworth trade of October 2004.
With time travel not currently an option, I seek to remember the good times via a memorial in three parts. The first, which you're currently reading, will list the profiles of the players. The second will be a recap of all the games played, while the third will be the sad tale of the failed Pearspn-Farnsworth trade of October 2004.
The profiles of these competitors -- memorialized on that most unfindable of websites, yahoo.com/geocities/herdofnerd -- are as follows.
-- Starters --
Ballard, Nathan
Scouting Report: Ballard is uninhibited when it comes to shot selection. This attribute can really hurt a team or conversely propel them to new heights of domination. But it all depends on if he is hot on that particular night. Which brings me to his flammibility. Nathan is a continual threat to go aflame. He is a wildcard, and if he comes into play, it spells trouble for his opponents.
Career Highlights: National History Fair Qualifier. Creator of G-House, an internet site.
Farnsworth, Bryan
Scouting Report: Farnsworth does all the little necessary things to help his team. He's always in position to get the rebound, he shoots within 3 feet of the basket resulting in one of the highest field goal percentages, and stays beneath the radar quietly getting the job done. The ideal role player.
Career Highlights: Senior Class Officer. Lives in Bountiful.
Hansen, Spencer
Scouting Report: Hansen's anticipation and reaction time make him the ultimate defensive player. He steals and blocks with amazing accuracy and consistency. One of a select few to block Jerome the Giant, he is now dubbed the Giant Killer. Although he may toss up cringe-worthy hookshots, he does have an offensive game. All hail the Giant Killer.
Career Highlights: No extracurricular activity to speak of. Owner of Wang Chung T-shirt.
Higginson, Austin
Scouting Report:
Pros: Higginson flatout hustles. This allows him to get to rebounds quicker than anyone on the court, drive past opponents without the need of a fake, and finish fast breaks with ease. He also has a sly lean-in jumper which can kill the opposition on a good day.
Cons: BNL fan.
Career Highlights: Social Science Sterling Scholar. Knows the difference between alliteration and sibilance.
Jensen, Hyrum
Scouting Report: Hyrum Jerome Jensen. With the reach of King Kong and the chin of Conan the Barbarian, he averages a near triple double, squashing his opponents as they scream "Godzilla!!!" He does it all, and sadly for the 'Stangs, it's not a matter of stopping him, but rather trying to limit his successes.
Career Highlights: He's tall. Star of Hyrum's Van, the acclaimed comic hit.
Pearspin, Ryan
Scouting Report: Despite suffering through intense ridicule for the inability to spell his own name, Ryan Pearspin (1 time PE Hustle Award winner) manages to provide WLJH with the tenacity and honor needed at the pivotal 4 spot. Intimidated by none, Pearspin battles with a scrambling ferocity that leads to innumerable boards, jump balls, and even the occasional drawn charge.
Career Highlights: The Reginald. The hair. Enough said.
Roner, Zac
Scouting Report: Deep within the belly of this gentle giant lies an athletic edge that was sharpened through 6 years of intense training at Utah's premiere school for the sporting inclined: Monroe Elementary. This refiners fire transformed Roner's raw talents into a beautiful exhibition of power scoring and rebounding. With Rodman-like rebounding skills and a Duncanesque jumper, Roner has the skills to bring the championship to WLJH.
Career Highlights Seminary President of the Year (02-03). Career test score average: 97.8569%.
Santana, Carlos
Scouting Report: Often frustrated by the foolish remarks of lesser intelligent beings, Carlos "the skidmark" Santana, vents his anger in typical Mahatma fashion, aka hardnose defense. Carlos has the potential to shutdown the most seasoned scorer, even while wearing pants, yet intriguingly enough, it was Santanas' clutch shooting that garnered the 1992 Catskill Rookie of the Year Award.
Career Highlights 1992 Catskill Rookie of the Year. Last name begins with the word Santa.
Squire, Landon
Scouting Report: Landon Squire has the invaluable ability to pass the ball...to any place on the court. Using the same processor that brought him a 4.0 average, Squire has managed to lead the league in both assists and assist-to-turnover ratio. Squire's selfless court management has sparked the Liger's sporadic run-and-gun offense many a time.
Career Highlights Academic All State-Tennis. Valedictorian.
Veth, Bunna
Scouting Report: Another of Monroe's prized prospects, Bunna Veth is a 3 time kick-ball champion, a 2 time member of the All-Granite Offensive Team (Football and Basketball), a 2 time Valley Crest Student Athlete of the Year, a 3 time badminton intermural champion,a 3 time member of the all-Beardall Flag Football, Volleyball, and Basketball teams, an honorary member of both the WLJH and GHS cross country squads, and he played tennis. We could continue the accolades or we could state the obvious. He's good.
Career Highlights: See above
-- Bench Warriors --
Smith, Devon
Scouting Report: If you thought marriage would slow Valley's most athletically gifted player, well, you may or may not be right; I haven't seen him play in four years so I don't know. This I do know: even if he has been partially slowed by marriage it won't be enough to give his defender a chance. Smith will always pack a whallop with his upper-echelon 3-point shooting and driving skills and West Lake's defenders will have to account for his every offensive move.
Career Highlights Father-to-be. Passed on the PGA tour to go study at SLCC.
Wright, Ian
Scouting Report: If you take the hustle from Matt Harpring and place it in a cowboys body, the result is Ian wright. A defensive nightmare for any opponent, Wright makes up for his lack of shooting by filling up the rest of the stat sheet. He collects boards, bats away shots, passes the ball well, and his track-honed legs run the fast break as well as anyone this side of Granger. Plus, who knows what black (player) skills he may have added to his game during his two year stay in Africa?
Scouting Report: If you take the hustle from Matt Harpring and place it in a cowboys body, the result is Ian wright. A defensive nightmare for any opponent, Wright makes up for his lack of shooting by filling up the rest of the stat sheet. He collects boards, bats away shots, passes the ball well, and his track-honed legs run the fast break as well as anyone this side of Granger. Plus, who knows what black (player) skills he may have added to his game during his two year stay in Africa?
Career Highlights: Inheritor of the japatamapito gene. Owns 26 firearms.
Moorman, Danny
Scouting Report: Every time the ball goes to him fans can't help but get that same sick feeling in the gut they had whenever Ostertag got the ball. But the difference between Moorman and Tag? When Tag shot it was ugly and he missed. When Moorman shoots its ugly and he makes. Although the stroke aint smooth and the footwork aint pretty, Moorman manages to score with great efficiency, and his collection of I-cant-believe-that-went-in jumpers more than demoralizes the opposing defense.
Career Highlights: Able to talk to girl without sweating. Bowled a 300 (if he hasn't yet, he will)
1. Man me and Bunna had a lot of fun writing these dumb things
2. I remember when drawing up the teams that I ranked each player on a star system and purposely ranked Zac a 1 star player in the hopes it would motivate him in the unforgiving matchup against Jerome the Giant.
In retrospect it might have motivated Farnsworth and Santana more. Whoops.
-- Two final notes --
1. Man me and Bunna had a lot of fun writing these dumb things
2. I remember when drawing up the teams that I ranked each player on a star system and purposely ranked Zac a 1 star player in the hopes it would motivate him in the unforgiving matchup against Jerome the Giant.
In retrospect it might have motivated Farnsworth and Santana more. Whoops.
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